it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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