his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Randomize
