I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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