im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I need to stop coming to work sober
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
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