in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
