Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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