Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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