I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
