You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
