Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
