Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
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Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
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We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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