Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
