Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
