i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
