yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
