Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
