dude i'm inner monologue high
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Randomize
