My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
