If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize