Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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