Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
there is glitter all over my balls
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
