Betty ford says i'm here all night
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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