I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
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Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
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She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
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