I bet he comes in French.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
