my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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