I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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