I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
