I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
so that wasnt chicken after all
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
