I think I died a long time ago.
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
