I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
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