After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Randomize
