WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize