I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
