i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
