your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
