yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
