Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
