It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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