I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
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