take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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