the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
