I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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