Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
