winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
