Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
