PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I think weed is turning my hair brown
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
