It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
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I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
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He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize