let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
