you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Randomize
