They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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