In the future we'll all be gay
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
