Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
