if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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