i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
