come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Randomize
