I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize