Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
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