My friends, they love my intelligence
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
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