i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
