You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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