Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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